Most money fights start long before anyone mentions money. Over the course of her 25+ years as a Chartered Financial Analyst, Emily has seen it again and again: the moment she asks a couple about their finances, the emotions underneath come pouring out.
So on this episode of the Faithful Finance Podcast, Emily and Alison sit down with licensed therapist and author Jason VanRuler, who studies what happens when a conversation starts to go sideways and helps couples communicate clearly with each other. Jason unpacks why money talks go from zero to conflict so fast, the shame we carry when our identity gets tied to a number, and the simple shifts that put couples back on the same team.
What You'll Learn:
➡️ Why money conversations are some of the most emotionally loaded "master's level" conversations in any relationship
➡️ The three D's of doom (distracted, defensive, dismissive) and how each one derails a conversation
➡️ What defensiveness is really protecting, and why it wounds the person you love
➡️ How one honest admission turned a costly mistake into a moment of connection for Jason and his wife
➡️ Why your net worth is not your self-worth, and how shame says "I am a mistake" instead of "I made a mistake"
➡️ Why "enough" keeps moving when your identity is tied to a number
➡️ The five communication types from Jason's book Discovering Your Communication Type (Peacemaker, Advocate, Thinker, Harbor, Spark) and how to talk about money with each one
➡️ How to make room for the quieter spouse when one person does all the talking
➡️ The first step for couples stuck in conflict: verify the story you're telling yourself
Resources:
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/1UgG69-7G-M
Take Jason's free PATHS communication type assessment: https://www.jasonvr.com/paths
Buy Jason's Book: Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths to Deeper Connections and Stronger Relationships by Jason VanRuler: https://a.co/d/675JOCl
Connect with Jason VanRuler:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jason.vanruler/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Jasonvrcounselor
Website: https://jasonvr.com
Download Emily's free budget worksheet and other practical tools at: https://faithfulfinance.com/resources
Buy Emily's Book: Purchase Faithful Finance by Emily Stroud on her website: https://faithfulfinance.com/resources/
Support the Show:
✅ Follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode
✍️ Leave a review and share your biggest takeaway
📲 Share this episode with someone who's ready to stop fighting about money and start working on the same team
Connect With Emily:
Website: https://faithfulfinance.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/emilygstroud
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilygstroud
Threads: https://www.threads.com/@emilygstroud
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@faithfulfinancepodcast
Connect With Alison:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amgengelbach
Credits:
A Faithful Finance production.
Executive Producer: Emily Stroud
Produced by Griffith Media | https://www.griffith.media
© COPYRIGHT 2026 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Emily G. Stroud, LLC
Emily G. Stroud, MBA, CFA is a Registered Representative
Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member SIPC sipc.org
So on this episode of the Faithful Finance Podcast, Emily and Alison sit down with licensed therapist and author Jason VanRuler, who studies what happens when a conversation starts to go sideways and helps couples communicate clearly with each other. Jason unpacks why money talks go from zero to conflict so fast, the shame we carry when our identity gets tied to a number, and the simple shifts that put couples back on the same team.
What You'll Learn:
➡️ Why money conversations are some of the most emotionally loaded "master's level" conversations in any relationship
➡️ The three D's of doom (distracted, defensive, dismissive) and how each one derails a conversation
➡️ What defensiveness is really protecting, and why it wounds the person you love
➡️ How one honest admission turned a costly mistake into a moment of connection for Jason and his wife
➡️ Why your net worth is not your self-worth, and how shame says "I am a mistake" instead of "I made a mistake"
➡️ Why "enough" keeps moving when your identity is tied to a number
➡️ The five communication types from Jason's book Discovering Your Communication Type (Peacemaker, Advocate, Thinker, Harbor, Spark) and how to talk about money with each one
➡️ How to make room for the quieter spouse when one person does all the talking
➡️ The first step for couples stuck in conflict: verify the story you're telling yourself
Resources:
Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/1UgG69-7G-M
Take Jason's free PATHS communication type assessment: https://www.jasonvr.com/paths
Buy Jason's Book: Discovering Your Communication Type: The 5 Paths to Deeper Connections and Stronger Relationships by Jason VanRuler: https://a.co/d/675JOCl
Connect with Jason VanRuler:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jason.vanruler/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Jasonvrcounselor
Website: https://jasonvr.com
Download Emily's free budget worksheet and other practical tools at: https://faithfulfinance.com/resources
Buy Emily's Book: Purchase Faithful Finance by Emily Stroud on her website: https://faithfulfinance.com/resources/
Support the Show:
✅ Follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode
✍️ Leave a review and share your biggest takeaway
📲 Share this episode with someone who's ready to stop fighting about money and start working on the same team
Connect With Emily:
Website: https://faithfulfinance.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/emilygstroud
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emilygstroud
Threads: https://www.threads.com/@emilygstroud
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@faithfulfinancepodcast
Connect With Alison:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amgengelbach
Credits:
A Faithful Finance production.
Executive Producer: Emily Stroud
Produced by Griffith Media | https://www.griffith.media
© COPYRIGHT 2026 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Emily G. Stroud, LLC
Emily G. Stroud, MBA, CFA is a Registered Representative
Securities offered through LPL Financial, Member SIPC sipc.org